Lori-Paradox: a short story about the extraterrestrial.
Hello, dear reader.
I write to you as an alien, who does not appear as such at first glance. I have almost all the qualities of an anthropomorphic Terran feline, but this is simply the form my body took when I landed, and formed on planet Earth, as that was a very common species on Earth, at the time. The way I look is camouflage.
This is not a full telling of my life, but simply my time on Earth, and how I navigated the world as someone not of it.
As I write of this transcript of my experience of the planet Earth, I am currently residing on a space vessel as a partially organic hologram. My thoughts, mental capabilities, and personality have all been retained, the same cannot be said for my physical body, which has decayed long ago. As I write this, I am millions of lightyears away from Earth, which was where my fully sentient life began in the solar year, 1965.
I remember my first moments on earth well.
I woke up, my body not yet fully formed, some parts flesh-soft, and some parts as hard as igneous rock. My fur was growing rapidly in patches as my body was generated. In some areas of my body, I could feel the grass and dirt tickle my skin, and in others, I felt nothing.
As my nervous system, brain, and eyes formed, I gained my senses. I took notice of the dark, azure-ish sky, littered with specks of white. I stared at it for half a minute, or so.
I attached unto these shapes like a Terran child attaching itself to its mother. They were my first love, and the first beautiful thing I could be privy to.
Within the hour I would find myself with a functioning body. It mirrored that of an anthropomorphic Terran feline, albeit without primary and secondary sexual organs. The next hour would not be the same as the peaceful, private moment I shared with the sky’s jewels, however. I found myself being assaulted by the formerly innocuous grass and dirt’s texture, and of course, as I gained the ears of that of a Terran feline, I found myself with another sensory problem. Sounds felt as if they were shooting themselves directly into my ears like darts onto dartboard. The Terran bird’s calls, the rustle of the nearby wheat field in the wind, and the bumps in the night all felt as if they were competing to see which one could make me tear off my newly formed ears first.
I began to run on all fours, even if this felt unnatural for my biped form, in a panic induced by this assault on my senses. I stopped my pursuit of sanctity when I found myself at a barn. Loud disharmony was oozing from this structure as well, but I felt a draw to it nonetheless. I lifted myself to stand on my two padded feet, and as I peered in through the agape barn doors, I noticed other anthropomorphic lifeforms. So far, the only emotions I had experienced were fear, but at that moment… I began to feel intrigued.
I studied these beings for a while, as I felt it necessary to gain information about this planet’s life forms. I took notice of the language they spoke, their social habits and behaviors, and the fact they were all adorned in some form of cloth. I, of course, was not wearing any sort of clothes myself, so my next task was to find myself something to wear.
As I scanned the barn, I noticed some loose pieces of clothing strewn close to the entrance. I peeked into the barn’s entrance and quickly swiped a large blue button-up with a pocket on the breast of it. I then scurried off to find a place to put it on. I had some confusion at first, but I was eventually able to dress myself.
I smiled for the first time in my existence on this strange planet that had been thrust upon me. I accomplished a task! A task that would help me fit in with these other life forms! “How wonderful!” I thought. I was quite pleased with myself at that moment. Of course, I would have many other tasks to complete and lessons to learn in the coming days, weeks, months, and even years! But at that moment, I was happy.
So, with my newfound cheer, I decided to explore this strange planet more, albeit with a newfound caution.
As I explored this world, I stumbled upon multiple strange sights, such as, what I would later learn to be trees! Of course, the strangest sight for me by far was the nearby town I stumbled upon. The mellow lights emanating from the stores were strange to me… The seemingly formerly colorful signs which had now faded and cracked over the years…. What did they mean? What did any of these buildings mean? I knew one thing, and that was that these buildings were definitely different from a barn.
I cautiously headed on my way down the small hill I was previously resting on, anxious to see what this place meant to someone like me, and what this place even was in the first place.
As I laid my bare paws on the asphalt, I felt a strange sensation and a not particularly welcome one at that. I glanced around the barren strip mall, deciding to explore it for some time. My newly formed brain must have been quite fascinated by these colorful structures and signs, since I spent well over a couple of hours wandering around this town’s shopping district, in which only a couple of stores were still open at that late hour. One of those stores was a homely drugstore, which seemed to have a small number of people in it.
Even with my reservations, I decided to enter the building, which seemed to contain other, supposedly sentient, lifeforms. I pushed on the store’s clear door, only to realize I instead had to pull a handle located on the middle left of the glass rectangle.
I gazed at the various shelves full of products until a certain anthropomorphic bat woman caught my eye. Her hair was long, dark, shiny, and thick, with eye-grazing bangs framing her face. She was looking at some tins of coffee on sale, deciding finally to buy a certain brand of coffee, and putting it in her brown paper grocery bag. I decided to walk up to her, as she had caught my eye in such a way. I hadn’t seen a lifeform on this planet with long hair. I hadn’t even seen my own reflection yet! I stared at her in such a way that I’m sure at the time confused her quite a bit.
“Hi, you alright?” She mumbled to me softly, trying to conceal the deeper nature of her voice out of insecurity.
I wasn’t sure what any of that meant! So I obviously didn’t reply to her. Instead, I simply pointed at her hair, and then pointed to mine.
The lady nodded, scrunching up her face slightly to express her confusion at my strange gesture. I began to follow her around the store, still fascinated by her long hair. She tried to talk to me, but to no avail. As you might recall, I didn’t understand the language yet, much less the English language, so there was certainly no conversation to be had between us. Eventually, she took notice of how dirty I was due to my adventures in the wilderness.
“Hey, if you want, I'll give you a ride and let you clean yourself up, but what is going on with you? Did someone hurt you or something?”
She was obviously perplexed by the fact I was only wearing a shirt and nothing else, but also by the fact that I appeared very young at the time. She wasn’t exactly frightened by me due to the fact she was much taller than me, as well as older, so I suppose she felt it would be a good deed to help me out.
I would later learn that this kind woman’s name was Brewster Molina. She was a librarian and aspiring astronomer at the time when I met her, and by the time she had passed she was quite an accomplished and respected astronomer and starship route mapper on many planets.
As she paid for her groceries I trailed behind her, and she eventually led me to get in her dark green truck, fastening my seatbelt for me. As the car drove I stared outside the truck’s window, scratching my paw absentmindedly. This was truly a kind act, and even if I didn’t know it yet at the time, I had met my first true friend.
The deep, yet faded, green truck droned and hummed as my new friend drove us along the cracked, asphalt road, which eventually faded into dirt that dusted under the tires of the vehicle Ms. Molina was driving calmly. As the truck was parked into a flat, less dusty, piece of earth, it stopped abruptly. Brewster opened the door of the truck on her side, and got out from the driver’s seat gracefully, to which I physically replied by opening the door on my side, and jumping out clumsily from it, stumbling a little as I stood up again.
This type of earth felt bare and rough, and I wasn’t exactly fond of it, but luckily a less rough, well-walked wooden floor would greet my paws soon enough when I stepped into Brewster’s small house with dusky green paneling on the outside, and tangerine orange wallpaper on the inside.
Click.
My ears perked up, and right before my eyes, the formerly dark room lit up! Brewster may have only flicked a light switch , but to me, it felt like some sort of miracle. At the time, I hadn’t been educated on how electricity worked, so Brewster may as well have cast a spell.
Brewster carried her brown paper bags in the kitchen, flicking a light switch to turn on a light once again. She had a meticulously organized fridge and cabinets, with everything clearly laid out. After she had finished carefully putting every single item away, she spoke to me.
“Alright, now how about I go and draw a bath for you?” she said softly, patting me on the head delicately.
She walked up the house’s creaky stairs, motioning for me to come with her, and I followed sheepishly. She began to set out some soaps from the bathroom cabinet and onto the side of the bathtub, and then promptly began to fill it up with warm water. I stared at the water flowing into the tub, interested in how it might feel to touch. Brewster turned the knob above the tub, and it stopped flowing. I looked up at her, and she motioned me towards the tub. She then spoke to me once again.
“I’ll leave you to get all washed up, but let me know if you need any help with anything, alright?” She left the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
I took off the shirt that had begun to cling to my slightly damp fur. I must confess, I didn’t love how it felt. The fabric was a little scratchy, and the shirt was patterned with stains of some kind of liquid and dirt. I was happy to have it off. I ran my paw through the warm water, and as I did so, my paw began to feel an odd tingle. The warmth of the water on my paw felt divine, and I concluded that if I stepped into the tub, I would enjoy it quite a bit. The heat enveloped my fur and my body fervently. This bath was one of the few wonderful experiences I had had on earth so far, and I loved it with all my heart.
For that moment, the world felt kind, happy, and warm as I cleaned myself in Brewster’s tub.
Brewster had given me a piece of fabric–a towel–to dry myself off with, and I was able to figure that part out. I held the towel over my body like a curtain as I left the bathroom and entered the upstair’s hallway. The house had four rooms upstairs–two bedrooms, one bigger than the other, a bathroom, and a linen closet. The house Brewster had lived in for seven years at that point was not particularly big, but it was nice and in decent shape. I wandered throughout the house a bit, not dressed yet, when Brewster noticed me doing so. She looked a little startled when she laid her eyes on me. My hair was still wet, but my fur had dried mostly, and I was pulling the towel over myself like a cloak, so my lack of sexual organs could not be noticed, and my privacy was preserved.
“Y’alright?” She uttered, a little worriedly. I didn’t know how to reply. The people in this place all made strange noises to me… or at least that's how I saw it at first. Over the next two years, I would pick up English, and a bit of Spanish, slowly. I’ve clearly become somewhat accomplished at language, considering I’m writing this, however, at the time, language was completely alien to me.
Brewster did her best to get me to put on a linen summer dress she had on hand. I liked how the fabric felt, although the dress was about a size too big for me, and quite long for a person of my short height–at least compared to Brewster, who was in fact quite tall. I never liked to wear dresses, I always preferred the security that pants and a shirt afforded me, but in the meantime, this dress would do. I kneaded at the fabric of the dress’s skirt in my lap for a while, fully engrossed in its fascinating texture. It felt similar to the shirt I had worn previously, but slightly different…softer, almost. Brewster tried to talk to me once again, explaining how she had to go to work at someplace called a “library”, and that she'd be home at around 5:30 PM. I didn’t understand a word of it! She sighed as I tried to mimic some semblance of a response one might give.
Chapter III: my part-time job.
In the following days, Brewster would call around hospitals in the area, asking if they were missing any patients matching my description…none of them did, of course. Brewster continued to worry about where I had come from…she even told me she thought I might have had brain damage when she first met me!
Once I had learnt a fair amount of English from watching television she put on and browsing various books she had around the house, I was able to fabricate a story, similar to one I had seen on a television program.
I told her that I had run away from home, because my parents had been so unkind to me, and that I faked my death before running away. Quite a tall tale! But she was willing to believe it if it meant an end to her worrying. I also told her my name, or rather, I came up with one, and I told it to her. It’s still what I go by to this day.
“Loretta.”
I saw that name on one of the music records Brewster kept around the house, and I liked it, so I decided that it’d work out alright. She allowed me to stay at her house for the time being.
We had a nice arrangement. She would help me out, and I would study and get a part-time job. She had to explain to me what both of those things meant… of course. She helped me apply for quite a few before finally landing an interview with the local j-mart in need of a cashier. I wasn’t quite sure how to do an interview, or even what it meant, so she helped me yet again. She wrote down plenty of notes, practically a script, of what I needed to say and do during an interview. I don’t know if she knew how much that meant to me. She was kinder to me than anyone I knew then and have since known, and I don’t know if I was ever able to put into words what I wanted to tell her, about all the help she had given me, and all the patience she had for me.
And of course, with Brewster’s very thorough help, I had at last found a decent job. I had a part-time job, and I was a cashier!
Brewster let me ride her bike to work, after showing me its mechanisms and how it was to be ridden. I enjoyed the steady movement of the bike and its relationship with my moving legs. It was constant motion that I could feel, that I contributed to, that I fed. When I arrived at the store, I was called to by an armadillo man much taller than me. He motioned me over to the check-out counter in the store, and patted me on the back, grunting a little. I turned on the “check-out open” sign, and waited at the counter for a bit, and then got my first customer. I found adding up money and math in general quite fascinating at that point, so I was able to do that part of the job swiftly and efficiently. The only issue for me with the job was communication… customers would say things to me, maybe even chat a little, and I would try my best to not sound like a robot. Of course, I did feel like a robot talking to other animals… I always did. I still do sometimes! But I have grown past that feeling, mostly, I suppose. Either way, my responses felt auto-generated in some way or another, sometimes even saying full phrases I read in books or saw on tv. But I was an efficient cashier, and I guess my boss and the customer’s I checked out appreciated that, even with my idiosyncrasies in tow.
Chapter IV: our bodies.
“Earth is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t wanna live there.”
That was a joke I would cheerfully tell Brewster, copying one of Bugs Bunny’s many iconic phrases. It eventually became less of a joke when a certain fellow alien crash-landed in Sonoma county.
I had lived with Brewster for about two years at that point, with nothing too notable to speak of. Although, in those two years and before, Brewster had been saving up for a vaginoplasty, or, a sex change surgery as it was commonly known at the time. She now had to figure out how to navigate that with me around.
She would have to pay for the surgery of course, but would also have to pay for a train or plane ticket all the way from California to Maryland to get the surgery itself! I was of age, at least by Terran standards, at this point, about 19 Earth years or so, so Brewster felt better about leaving me alone for a week, if it was necessitated, so she wouldn’t have to pay for an extra ticket, or anything. But she still had to figure out a way to explain why she would be going away in the first place.
In the 60s, transgender or transsexual people were an enigma and even an affront on the idea of normalcy to many, and she assumed I would think the same of such a thing, but of course, I wasn’t exactly many. I didn’t really know any different from Brewster, she was my image of what a typical Terran woman was. We had a sit down about the matter, as she delicately tried to explain her situation.
“So, the reason I wanted to have a talk with you, Loretta, was because… I might be going away for a week… to Maryland.” she warbled out nervously.
I nodded. “Why are you going away for a week to Maryland?” I said in my typical monotone voice, intently focused on the conversation at hand. She fidgeted with her hands in her lap a little, thinking of how to word what she was going to say next.
“So, you know how women and men have different private parts? You’ve read all about that in all the biology books I’ve brought home from the library for you. Well, I was born with a man’s instead of a woman’s, and I need to go to Maryland to fix that… with a surgery.” She tried her best to explain her nature to me, with the tools afforded to a person like her at the time.
I stared at her blankly as she smiled a bit nervously. I thought about what she said for a second, and then replied.
“Oh, ok! Is the surgery safe?” I meowed nonchalantly, my paws resting on my two straight legs, and my tail swaying gently.
“Yes, yes! It’s just a bit expensive, is all. But I’ve been saving up for it for a couple years. That’s why it's good to save your money, so you can get the things you want and need eventually!” she said in her typical motherly tone.
“Yes! I like saving money. It's really fun to count it when you save it up, too.” I purred happily. Brewster allowed herself a sigh of relief, thankful for my peculiar nature at that moment.
Me and Brewster both had “irregular” biology. She was transgender, and I was an alien… not exactly the same thing, but I lacked any sexual organs altogether! Is there a surgery for that? Well, if there was, I don’t think I’d have wanted it. Organ rejection can be a dangerous thing, and I’m not exactly an Earthling animal with an Earthling body. Plus, that means I didn’t have to menstruate every month! Many Earth women I’ve talked to have said how painful that is, so I’m grateful to have avoided that.
When Brewster left for Maryland, she left me 3 dollars and 50 cents, which I was grateful for. Life went on as usual without Brewster, although I missed her. I studied my books, rode my bike to work at the bodega and around town, and watched tv. Nothing was strange, nothing was off.
But that was before Xelma Z’iek showed up when Brewster had only been gone for 2 days.
Xelma was a Solarian pilot, enlisted in the Solaria pilot’s union, as she would tell us. She was a usually very competent pilot, but she had simply miscalculated her coordinates… leading her to crash land in a forest nearby Brewster’s house. She wasn’t too beaten up, due to the way Solarian starships were constructed. The same could not be said for her ship. She wandered around the woods, just as I had done when I was first born on Earth two years prior. Eventually her wandering led her to Camp Meeker, and then Jonwood… the town just down the road from my and Brewster’s residence. Her wandering was caught by some tourists and a guy who lived in Camp Meeker at the time, who reported it to the local newspaper.
She moved strangely, her limbs gangly and long yet her body short and petite. She used her tail for balance, similarly to how I did. Her eyes could not be seen, they were covered by fuzzy, fluffy, sandy-colored fur. Her ears were large, like Brewster’s, but unlike Brewster’s ears, they had a slight glow to them in the dark… nothing too noticeable… at least compared to her antennae. They glowed brightly, like little lanterns growing from the top of her head. She was also shorter than me, standing at about 4’8’’. Altogether, she was strange looking, and the first time I saw her, I was spooked. She was also spooked, though. She hadn’t planned on getting caught wandering around by a Terran, although I wasn’t a Terran, exactly. She tried to communicate for a second, before clearing her throat.
“Hello, do you speak… the Earth language, english?” She said in her strange, gravelly yet squeaky and high-pitched voice. I nodded slowly, still startled. “My starship crashed in the forest… I need to repair it.” I nodded along once again. I led her inside, none the wiser to how dangerous it could have been to let an alien, much less a stranger, into my house while Brewster was away. We sat down at the kitchen table as we both thought about what to say to each other. The room was drenched in a cool, and quiet atmosphere, save for a lonely cricket noise in the night outside. Xelma eventually began to say something, slicing the thick silence.
“I need to repair my ship. Can you help with that? Do you have some primi- sorry. Current era Earth tools? I can use those.” She squeaked.
“Yes… we have some… in the garage. But what tools do you need…?” I said curiously. I wanted so badly to ask this alien sitting right across from me everything to know about aliens, her planet, her spaceship… but I restrained myself. “I’ll need some… ah… what are they called? I think I’ll need the Earth tools you’d use to repair a… “jar”.” she said, unsure of what the word she was trying to say was. I blinked, confused at what she meant. “A “jar”? Do you mean car?”. She sighed, “Yes. I believe that is what I meant. I am sorry for my poor Earth language skills.” I shook my head. “No, no, you’re really good, for an alien. I’ve never met an alien before. I’m surprised you know what English or Earth even is. I didn’t, for a while, until Brewster taught me.”
She scratched her small, rodent-like head. “Well, I am a Solarian, as it roughly translates into English. On Solari we must explore and connect with other planets, learn what they are, if they have life, and treat them with dignity. It is how we can worship our ancestors who had wings, before we lost them.”
We walked into Brewster’s garage. It was mostly filled with astronomy equipment she had bought over the last decade, absent of her truck, but there was also a decent collection of car repair tools, stored in an old, faded, plastic milk crate. Xelma inspected the tools, and after looking them over carefully, she nodded. “These will have to do, but they will only help so much. Some of my tools may have survived the crash. It was not the worst one I have had.” She squeaked.
Over the next couple days, Xelma would allow me to briefly visit where she had crashed. It was like living a dream being in the company of a real life alien. I learnt about Solari, her home planet, and where she was going. She taught me some words in Ilansolirin, her home planet’s native language, and I in turn taught her a couple new words in english. Her ship wasn’t terribly destroyed, so the repairs went relatively quickly. Her ship was not large, either, which also helped. She would be back on her way in a month's time, but of course, Brewster would have to be home before then.
The day Brewster arrived home, I felt nervous, but she just felt tired. She needed to recover from the trip and surgery, so she didn’t pay much mind to my suspicious nerves. She took a nap in her bedroom soon after unpacking her small suitcase, and I quickly scurried into the woods where Xelma had been camping out with her in-progress repairs going on. I couldn’t let Brewster know I’d been talking to an alien! That’s crazy! So… I had to let Xelma know that she’d probably need to be on her way soon… I came to her nervously and awkwardly, unsure of how to explain what the situation was now.
“Xelma? You’re here? Right?” I mewed out in a warbly voice.
“Yes?” She called out from behind a couple oak trees. “I am just cleaning some of my repair tools in the stream…”
I paced around nervously, my body itching to tell her what’s going on. “Oh, that’s good. I uh… so uh…” I began to say as Xelma stepped out from behind the large oak trees, some still wet tools in hand. “What is wrong, Loretta?” She said calmly, in her strange voice all the same. “My… friend. The one… the one I live with… she owns the house I live in… she came back home. She was on a trip to get something for a couple days but now she's back…” I tried to say, fidgeting with my paws. “Oh? She is? What is her name?” Xelma said, still serene as ever. “Brewster… Brewster Molina… Why do you need to know that, though? I think… I think you need to get going soon… or at least I can’t visit you for a while!” I said, maybe a little more rudely than I wanted to. “Oh oh… well, I will not be done with repairs for another two earth weeks, not with the tools I have now. But… maybe I could meet Brewster. Any friend you have should not be too cruel to an “extraterrestrial” like me.” Xelma replied. I shook my head.
“No no… I just don’t think that's… a good idea. You’re an alien! It’s crazy enough I’m talking to you and you can speak English! How am I gonna introduce you to Ms. Molina… No… I don't know…” I said in protest. Xelma nodded. “Well… is this Brewster home now?”...“Yes… but she’s taking a nap- Hey! Why are you asking me that?” I meowed, crossing my arms disconcertedly. “Ha-ha. Just a bit of a… joke, as you Terrans call it. I would like to meet this Brewster person, though. See you soon, Loretta.” She said as she went to dry her tools with an old rag from the garage. I waved bye, and went back home. I thought about Xelma meeting Brewster for awhile, and eventually, the idea didn’t seem so wrong anymore, like when you say a word over and over and it loses its meaning. I decided that tonight, Brewster and Xelma will meet.
A little while after Brewster woke up and got about, I approached her. She was embroidering some flowers in an embroidery hoop, flowers of all colors, ones that looked like the wild ones I saw outside on my trips to the forest. I began to tell her all about a friend I met that I wanted her to meet, and that even if the friend is a bit strange, I think you’ll like her, I really do! Brewster was fine with it. I think she was just happy I made a friend, for once. I didn’t go to school like other kids my age. I just read everything there was to read at home, which I found good enough, but Brewster seemed to think a bit differently. I asked Brewster if I could invite this friend for dinner tonight, and she replied positively as long as she doesn’t have to cook, which I agreed to. I made some real simple spaghetti with marinara sauce, nothing fancy, although I did worry Xelma might hate it… being an alien, and all. I hoped for the best and ran into the woods to fetch Xelma. I ran up to her excitedly, in a better mood and previously. “Xelma!” I meowed loudly and happily. “I’ve gotta tell you something!” Xelma peered out from her makeshift tent between two small oleander trees with a small grin appearing on her muzzle. “Yes?” She said tentatively. “Xelma… Xelma… you can meet Brewster! I arranged everything. You’re gonna have dinner with us!” Xelma perked up, uncharacteristically surprised. “Oh! Oh, wow. That is amazing! I will be eating with you and Ms. Molina? Yes?” Replied cheerfully, and I followed suit. “Yes! You’ll get to meet her too but… It might be a good idea to cover up… some things… here.” I pulled a stretchy wool cap out of my pocket, and put it right over top of Xelma’s antennas. “Oh… that feels strange. But if you think it is a good idea, that is alright. When will the dinner be happening?” She adjusted the hat slightly, making it more comfortable for her sensory-seeking tendrils. “In fifteen minutes! Why don’t you walk back with me? Just uh… stay outside until everythings ready… ok?”
We trailed back to the house with faded green paint, and I let Xelma wait outside while I finished cooking the marinara sauce. I then laid out plates on the table, and gathered Brewster. Brewster sat down calmly, smiling warmly. “The spaghetti looks nice, Loretta. Good job.” She said softly, still a bit tired and drowsy. I nodded happily, and motioned to the door. “I’m gonna go get my friend now but… don’t be alarmed, ok? She’s a bit strange looking, but she’s very nice…” Brewster nodded with a curious look in her dark, white-less bat eyes. I opened the door, and nodded at Xelma to come inside, which she obliged. As Xelma walked into the door frame, I could see Brewster’s cautious expression, but nothing came of it. The two greeted each other cordially, even shaking hands, and sat down at the table. Xelma only had a little spaghetti, reasoning that it sometimes gave her an upset stomach, which wasn’t entirely untrue. Solarians had difficulties digesting grain, making much of Xelma’s home cuisine lacking in carbohydrates like pasta. We were all nervous, but for different reasons. I was nervous, as I didn’t want Brewster to find out Xelma was an alien, and Xelma had a similar bit of fear, although she was much less worried and far more subtle about the matter. Brewster was nervous as she always was talking to new people, wanting to make a good impression. We all had a pretty quiet dinner… until…
“So, Xelma, are you from around this area?” Brewster asked in her soft voice. “Oh, not exactly.” Xelma replied coyly as I gritted my feline teeth. “Oh, where are you from then?” Brewster probed a little further. “Well… a lot of places, I think. I…” Xelma trailed off into thought. She sighed, and began to tell the truth, the last thing I wanted for this dinner. “I have to be honest with you, I do not want to lie to Brewster, Loretta…” She said to me and Brewster in equal measure while Brewster stared at me confused. Xelma lifted the knitted cap I had lended her, and her glowing blue tendrils were revealed for all the see. Brewster gasped. “What…are those?” she warbled out, even further confused than she was a minute ago. “They are a part of my body, they are like the paws or fingers you Terrans have, but on my head. They are so my species can sense danger in tunnels under the ground…”
“I will be honest with you now, I am not from Earth, Loretta knows this. I am an ““alien””, as you Terrans would call it. My vehicle crashed in the nearby forest, and Loretta has been helping me repair it.” Brewster looked at Xelma wide-eyed, and sat in silence for a minute, taking all the information in. “I… suppose I believe you. I’ve never seen a rodent with antennae before… oh my god… you’re an alien. You’re an alien and you're in my kitchen!” Brewster exclaimed.
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In the coming days Brewster had to deal with recovering from surgery, and becoming friends with an alien, but she didn’t mind the last part so much. Xelma was kind, and understood English pretty well for a Solarian, whose mother tongue was language which practically couldn’t be romanized. In the coming month, Xelma’s ship was close to being fully repaired, and I began to feel a sadness deep in my chest. I came to Xelma just a couple days before the repairs were estimated to be finished, my tail hanging forlornly between my legs, literally. I warbled out what I wanted to say to her. “Xelma… I don’t want you to leave… I… I’ve never been able to find anyone on Earth who I liked except Brewster… I feel so out of place on this planet, none of the other animals make sense to me at all….Xelma…. I want you to take me with you, when your ship is repaired.” Xelma reacted kindly to this, but with some resistance. “Loretta, you are young… I know how it feels to be out of place and… I believe I know why you feel this way…” She said with the cadence of an ancient Greek scholar. “Loretta, I knew this since the time I met you… you’re not… a Terran.”
I stared at her quietly for a moment, not fully understanding her words… “Not a Terran...?” I said ever so quietly as if I was a small bug on the forest floor below me. “Not an animal?! I’m not from here?” I started saying worriedly and loudly, beginning to hyperventilate. Xelma took my shoulder and tried to calm me down. “Loretta! I need to explain what this means. You are okay. You are calm.”
“Loretta, what I mean is that you are an alien, maybe not like me exactly… you appear as a Terran… and we would need to do some testing to know what you are for sure but… you aren’t an organic lifeform… my tendrils can sense that deeply.” She said less gravelly than usual. I began to weep a little, out of confusion mostly, but also a bit out of the well of sadness I had been constructing for my whole existence and which had been concentrated highly of the last week, knowing Xelma was going to leave… and now knowing I will be stuck on Earth, where I don’t belong…
Xelma hugged me tightly, with no objection from me. “Loretta… I can not let you come with me yet… you are too young. You need these years on earth to experience and live through certain things, to understand how to be who you are. I want you to know that I am not leaving you… I will return soon. I take this route every two months, and I can spare some time to visit for every trip, the guild will understand.” I began to calm down, sighing deeply and sucking in my tears. “I… understand, Xelma. Are you sure you’re going to visit?” I said, still a sad and vulnerable notation in my voice. “Yes… of course. I keep my word, it is a sign of virtue in your culture and mine. Once you are ready… I can show you space, and I can show you my planet… but you need time, like a fruit on your planet before it is ripe.” Xelma assured me, smiling once again. I nodded contentedly. “I’ll be patient. And so will Brewster… I’ll- We’ll miss you, but we’ll be patient. I… need to know more about what I am… but I’ll try to be patient about that too.”
In the coming weeks, we would see Xelma off, hoping to see her again in the coming months, which we did. Her promise rang true. Every two months, she came to visit us, and every two months, I felt even closer to home, and by the 70s, I was seeing what space was really like, and so was Brewster. She was an aspiring astronomer, after all, and being able to see more of the galaxy than anyone else besides me, definitely helped her career! I became a nurse onboard Xelma’s transport vessel, as she didn’t have one prior to that… and I also learnt about my origin.
I am what is known as a living asteroid, a sort of inorganic life form which finds planets, and adjusts its appearance to what it senses is the most common type of lifeform on that planet. I never met anyone who was my kind in terms of species, but I did meet Brewster, and Xelma, and plenty of other life forms who made up for that ten fold.
-Loretta.